Letting the Lord Guide Our Life

Many times we wonder why certain things happen to us. We wonder whether we are doing something wrong because everything seems to be going in the wrong direction. But… perhaps that is the right way – not our way, but His way.

I was born in a Christian family. Since I was very little I attended church every Sunday and sometimes in the middle of the week. During my high school years the routine continued and I was sitting in the church’s chairs while my mind, my heart, and my spirit were not.

The summer before I started college I had made up my mind that I was going to become a doctor and that I would give one hundred percent to my studies. I had told myself that there could not be room for anything else if I wanted to become a successful doctor, which included my family and even God. However when school started I feared that I would end up in a bad place if I didn’t at least go to church. I searched for a place but had no luck.

On a Monday, during the second week of my fall quarter at UCI, I recall receiving many flyers from many Christian clubs. I did not know which one to attend so I just threw them all away and decided to go to whichever one was closer to my dorm. Sunday morning came and I was near the flagpoles of ring mall when I realized that I did not write down any of the information for any club. I then received a text message from one of the girls that gave me a flyer saying that there was a meeting at the Cross-Cultural Center. I decided to just go there and see how I felt. When I got very close to the room I heard people chatting and just walked in. The very moment I walked inside that room people began to greet me and warmly smiled at me as if they knew me. I felt so comfortable, and joy began to well up in me.

I was attending the meetings on Sunday only until one of the girls in the club asked me if I wanted to go with her to a family dinner. I did not know what that was but I agreed to go. I was quite nervous when I entered the home but, just as in the Sunday meeting, I was greeted and welcomed in such a wonderful way that I could not stop smiling. There I met many families. There was one particular family that, up to today, continues to shepherd me through my human life and Christian life. They have always been there whenever I needed them, and have really been like parents to me.

Months passed and I continued to enjoy the Lord. I was finally able to open up to Him and have a real relationship with Him. But, I had many concepts about God and what He wanted for me. I wanted to become the best professional and to have a successful life. Little did I know that the Lord had better plans for me…

In March of 2015, I attended a conference for students from college campuses all across Southern California. It was very enjoyable and touched my heart greatly. During that conference I felt like the Lord was trying to tell me something; I was not sure what but I kind of put that feeling aside because I did not think it was too important. I still remember that during one of the messages the speaker standing on the platform said that if we wanted to be part of the Lord’s kingdom we had to give our entire being to Him. He then made the call to those who wanted to be baptized. I suddenly felt a chill that ran down my spine. I closed my eyes and asked the Lord, "Is this what you want? Do you want me to give everything up?"

I stood up and walked to the back of the room. Some sisters followed me and took me to the bathroom so I could change. While I was waiting to get baptized I looked at the water and a tear fell down my cheek – I did not know why I was so afraid but I was. Perhaps it was the fact that I knew I was still attached to the things of this world and that it was difficult to just let go. I stepped inside the water and prayed, and as I was submerged into the water I felt something like a heavy weight being taken off from me. I realized that the Lord had taken so much from my shoulders. That was one of the steps that Lord led me to take that I will never regret, and that was the beginning of the Lord’s work in me.

My life did not become easy, it actually became harder because the Lord wanted me to further see that there was absolutely nothing I could do without Him. I threw out many of my old concepts and desires. I no longer wanted to do what I had wanted to do, but rather I wanted to do whatever He ordained me to. I had a tough time not knowing what I was going to do with my life and asked the Lord to give me answers. At first I was very impatient and it took a lot of work for Him to make me realize that He works at His pace, not ours.

While I served at a Bible camp for junior high and high schoolers this past summer, the Lord began to answer many things for me, but in a slow and gradual way so that I was not distracted from enjoying Him and He was able to gain more of me. Before the camp started I was unsure if I was going to be able to participate, but the Lord made it possible in the end. While serving I realized how much I loved and enjoyed being with children; I was doing two things that I loved, serving Christ and feeding Christ to His people. After that week I realized that the Lord was not leading me to become a doctor anymore because He knew that in so doing I would somehow forget about Him or put my career before Him. I prayed every night that He would enlighten me and show me what His desires were. Once we open our hearts to the Lord and allow Him to work in us, we become His expression, and that was what He wanted from me, to leave everything behind and to please Him. Paul said in Galatians 2:20, “…it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me…” Those words that the Lord gave to Paul made me realize that I wanted Christ to possess my life completely and if He wanted me to become a teacher then my response would be Amen! And if He wanted me to be anything else then, Amen!

Today I am currently studying to get a degree in education. After that my desire is serve the Lord as He desires. Whatever He decides to use me for I will be ready to listen and do while holding tight to His hand.

-KO

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